Once, We Were Outsiders
by Lennonfan1940
Summary: Brenda Olk has always loved Angela Shepard, and the two have been a couple for years. In fact her life, is pretty okay, well until her side boyfriend get's himself in trouble. Slowly Brenda is introduced into the gang cultutre and drama that brews up around her, and discovers some secerts she can't forget. (Set around the time of the Outsiders)
1. Chapter 1

Angela was the pretty one.

In fact, she was the prettiest girl in Brumly, and probably all of Tulsa. She might just have been the prettiest thing in all of the United States. She had real nice blue eyes, and lightly tanned skin. Her long dark hair fell effortlessly down her back like a cape, and she looked how so many young girls wanted to look, naturally.

Angela was hood royalty. Any greasers dream girl. But she was strong, independent, and mean. Angela always got the last word in, and she always got what she wanted. That's why I was so shocked, when she told me she wanted me.

Angela had always known I liked girls, and only girls. I never told her, she just knew. We had been close friends since the day we ran into each other, I was six, and she was still only four, but we were best friends since. She might have been almost two years younger than me, but Angela Shepard was the dominate one. She bossed me around, and naturally I listened, giving her advice, or refusing her demands, only when I felt they were absolutely needed.

I was fourteen and she had just turned thirteen, when Angela told me she wanted me, and wanted to date me. I had thought that Angela was normal, the way she was always chasing boys, and though I had had a crush on her for years I figured I could never have Angie. But hearing that she liked me back, gave me this little buzz inside, and from the look in her face, she felt it too. We were right for each other.

But atlas, two girls aren't allowed to love each other. And so it became are best kept secret. To everyone else in Brumly, our poor little subdivision, we were only good friends, and just that.

Angela claimed she had to do more to cover it up. Said her brother Tim was getting suspicious. I figured that Angie was just the sort of person who has to be with a bunch of people all at once. And while it hurt to see her kissing other boys, and bragging to others about sleeping with them, I kept my yap shut. After all, at the end of the day, or whenever she had a problem, Angie always returned to me. And that's all that really matter, because if you let something go and it comes back, that means it really does love you.

I'm still not sure why I agreed to date Rocky Veni though. Maybe it was to get even with Angie, maybe it was to keep my daddy happy, but seeing as we both didn't care for each other all to much, why we stayed together for two years is beyond me.

Like me, Rocky wasn't all too pretty, but he was pretty smart, and he was a part of Tim's gang, and had a high rank in it. We'd meant when I came to the Shepherd's place for Angie, and we just started talking, and just like that he kissed me. And for whatever reason, I went and kissed him back, right in front of Angie.

Rocky was a good boyfriend. He didn't mind that I wasn't all that bright, or that I didn't look very pretty. He said he just liked me. Never have I meant a sweeter boy. I loved him, but not in the way you love someone you're going steady with. I loved him like a good friend, though we were dating. It was sorta flip flopped. I was dating Rocky, but we were really just good friends, and everyone thought me and Angie were just good friends, but we were dating.

But Rocky and I still did dating stuff. One time he stole a car, and went for a joy ride all around town with me, took me to the pictures and everything. Another time, he stole me someone's class ring, so I could wear it around my neck. And he never let anyone mess with me, and he called me his girl.

And I guess that's why I feel so guilty. Because Rocky really did love me, and I don't know if I ever really loved him. I don't know if you even can love two people, in the same 'zact way at once. But sometimes, when I was cuddled against Rocky and holding hands with him, and he'd call me his girl, I feel that 'zact same little buzz I feel with Angie, and found myself wishing I could stay like that forever.

They came to me first. Curly was pounding on my door at one in the morning, and before my step siblings could all wake up, or my dad could beat me to the door, I ran down in my night clothes and opened it.

"Brendy!" He said, like everyone always calls me. "Get your ass out here! It's urgent!" He grabbed me out the door before I could close it, and lead me down the street.

It seemed like everyone under twenty four was outside in the street, which was weird because it was one in the morning, and daddy always says nothing goods out at one in the morning. I had this real sick feeling, that something horrible had happened, like another shooting, and I instantly wondered about Angie, and if she was okay.

But I didn't have time to ask Curly any questions, not that he'd answer them, because soon he was pushing us though a crowd, and I saw what all the fuss was about. There, lying on the street like road kill, was the boy that for two years had called me his girl, and gave me all he could. There, with a growing scarlet spot on his chest, was the only boy who'd ever really loved me. There was Rocky Veni, dying right in front of me.

"We got Brenda for you." Curly called, marching me through the crowd. All I could do was stare at that big old gash on his side. And then, at my name, Rocky's eyes shot open, and he came back to life for a little bit. He smiled.

"Brenda?" He croaked.

"Yeah, that's me, I'm here." I answered, kneeling down and taking his hand, like I'd seen people do in movies were people die.

"Brenda...Brenda I love you. You're the best girl I've ever had, and a man could ever get. You were always so true and different. I'm going to miss you." That made me feel real guilty, because I'd never once stopped dating or loving Angie, and so I was never once true to Rocky.

"You'll be alright Rocky." I found myself saying. "Don't worry you ain't going no where."

Rocky smiled and clutched my hand a little tighter. "You're a sweet girl, that's rare around here. Don't you let nobody change that, since I ain't around to make sure no one does."

I nodded real fast. "No, I won't change Rocky, I promise."

I moved a little, because Tim had come around, and he was saying stuff too, only we weren't listening, and I can't remember what he was talking about.

"Don't-don't leave." Rocky squeaked. He was more freaked out than I'd ever seen him before.

"I won't. I ain't goin' nowhere Rocky." I promised him. We stayed like that for what seems like a real long while, while the crowd around us flittered around. It was just me and Rocky holding hands. I almost forgot he was dying.

And then, Rocky asked me to do something I won't ever forget.

"Brenda-k-kiss me one last time." He said it just like that, stammering, and like it wasn't a question.

I didn't really want to. Kissing someone while there dying isn't as sweet as that song makes it out to be. People who are dying usually have blood and stuff coming out of them in weird place, and Rocky was spitting blood and spit everywhere. But I leaned in and kissed him anyways, so he'd be happy.

It tasted like blood, salt and spit, but most of my kisses from Rocky were kinda like that. I didn't really think it'd be the last time he kissed me, or the last time I saw him, but when I looked up Rocky was staring into space, a far away look in his eye, and he had a big old grin on his face. An ambulance man came over and pushed me away. And that was the last time I kissed a boy. And the last time I saw Rocky Veni. And I swore to myself that would be the last time I ever let myself love a boy, or a person who wasn't Angie. It was just too hard.

**Hi guys, this is my first Outsiders fanfic, and I'm a bit excited about it! This chapter is just the prologue and it'll get better and less OC-ish later on, I promise. Rocky and Brenda are my OC's, but Angela is actually Tim and Curly's younger sister, and I thought she'd do prefect for this story. Unlike the real Angela, this one is older than Curly, and will be portrayed in the light of Brenda, who obviously really admires her. I might write this in different views, but I thought Brenda's would be the best for Rocky's death. **

** Anyways I hope you guys liked this, and if it gets popular enough, I will probably update quickly. I'd love to here every one's opinions and ideas, so please, if you could, review. I hope I didn't completely fail at this, but even if I did, I want to know, I love improving my writing. Also, I promise to respond in the next chapter, to any and all reviews I get.**

** Thanks for reading!:)**


	2. Chapter 2

When we were kids, Angela and I used to walk along the railroad tracks on our way back to Brumly. It was a stupid thing for two little girls to do, but I ain't ever been very smart, and Angela liked nothing more than getting into places she shouldn't.

Back then, we didn't have to worry about any gangs or nothing shooting us up. All we had to worry about, was our parents finding out and strapping us, or a train to come and run us over. And some did come mighty close to doing so.

Angie loved this game called chicken. We'd each walk on one side of the rail, til we heard a train coming. Then we'd stop right there, until someone moved out of the way. The first person to flinch, or jump to safety, was chicken. And chicken might as well been called making Brenda Olks piss herself, because I was always chicken, and that was always what happened.

Angie never cared about the train racing toward her. She'd laugh like it was some sort of joke, about to get run over like that. Me, I got scared like any other person and jumped as soon as I saw the train wasn't going to stop before hitting me.

One day, when I was ten, and Angie had only just turned nine, I decided I wasn't going to be chicken, and that I would stay on that track till Angie wet herself, and jumped off. It was risky, but I had to do it. I had to see Angie back down.

So when the tracks starting shaking, and we began to hear a train, I kept my feet glued to the track. Angie laughed at me and my efforts. But when the train was seeing distance, she looked at me real funny. Usually I'd jump off right then, and then she could jump to safety just in the nick of time.

"Gee Brendy, aren't you gonna jump?" She asked, getting nervous. I shook my head.

"Nun uh."

The train was blowing at us, and trying to break. For once in her life Angie flinched. She was scared. It was almost scary seeing Angie scared, but she didn't budge. I was starting to think I was gonna have to jump, or we'd both get run over.

"Come on Angie, let's jump off together-that way nobody's chicken!" I hollered above the nearing train.

When she turned to me next, Angie had tears in her eyes.

"I've been tryin' to jump! I'm stuck!"

Fear struck through me, and looking down, I saw Angie's sneaker laces were trapped in the rut of the track. She was a goner. But instead of jumping off that track like any smart person would, I swooped down and tried to slip Angie's big old foot out of her shoe.

I could feel the heat of the train up on me when Angie, in one last struggling push, broke free of her shoe and tumbled off the track. I had time to hear Angie scream a blood curling scream and to hear the screech of the train desperately trying to stop. I felt something very strong push me, and I closed my eyes sure it was all over.

But when I opened them a little while later, I wasn't in heaven. I was still on the tracks, only my back hurt a real lot. The train man was running to me, and Angie was sobbing. I wasn't sure what all the fuss was about, because my back was only sore, the rest of me felt fine.

"I'm okay. I'm okay." I kept saying over and over again, but I had to say it a billion times before anyone would believe me.

"You're so stupid Brenda, so so stupid." Angie told me, still crying a little, and I figured it was a complement, because I knew she wouldn't have been stupid enough to save me from that train.

Funny, way me and Angie were always stuck on the tracks. Angie always seemed to get herself in trouble, and like the idiot I am, I always ended up getting her right out of trouble. I was always there to slip off her shoe, to jump in front of a train, and I think Angie might have gotten a little too use to it.

I dunno how Angie meant Sylvia, but my first thought of her when I first meant her, was she was trash. Hood trash. Even her friends were trash. They were the kind of girls who all slept with the same guy, and then had a giggle about it the next week. And not only was Sylvia trash, she was dangerous.

She had herself seated all nice and comfy on the Shepard's porch like she owned the damn place the first time I meant her. It was right after me and Angie decided we were gonna date. She was dating Tim, and though Tim wasn't home, she liked sweet talking Curly, who was only in sixth grade at the time.

"And so I told Martha, that she'd better not be hitting on Tim, because he's all mine. And bless that little whore she backed up. Dating some kid from the Dingo who's like fourteen. But you have to love that bitch. Oh look it's a little blondie."

For some reason, Sylvia was the type of person who couldn't just leave a person alone to themselves. She was always poking in others business, probably because she didn't have much better to do. She was only a year older than me, but she'd already dropped out of high school.

If I were smart tongued like Angie, I would've said right back "Oh look it's a whore." but I wasn't so I just reached for the door.

"Hey what in the heck are you doing around here?" Sylvia challenged. "I was talking to you."

My curly blonde hair was cut very short, and I was so figure-less I was often mistaken for a boy, not that I minded, boy's tended to fair better in the slums of Tulsa anyways. Someone who had taken interest in my appearance was new, and I was used to just walking the other way when people I didn't know confronted me.

I shrugged. "Why are you here?"

Sylvia narrowed her beady green eyes and spat a little to the side just missing my shoes. They were those knock off converse with the plastic soles and I was sort of proud of them.

"I don't like the tude on this one Curly. She's a little smart ass."

Curly shrugged. He'd never cared for me much, and he certainly didn't when Sylvia was around.

"That's Brenda Olks, she's good friends with Angie."

"Brenda Olks? Well seems like you have a problem with respect eh?" Sylvia always spat her words, which I thought was disgusting.

I didn't know what to do. If I said no, like I wanted, she'd probably pound me for being fresh, if I agreed, I'd be lying to my own self. Luckily Curly came up with a answer before me.

"Don't pay her no mind Sylvy, she's not very smart."

At that moment the screen door slammed open and Angie came out. I wanted to hug her right then, but I didn't. She smiled when she saw me, and she looked doubtful at Sylvia.

"I was just about to go after you Brendy." She said to me quickly. "Come on, we're going roller skating."

I nodded. Curly looked Angie and I over, and Sylvia just kept smiling.

"Curly, tell momma I'm going skating with Brenda, we'll be back before sun set."

"We'll make sure she knows." Sylvia was still grinning, and it was really starting to get on my nerves. It questioned me how anyone could find her attractive, she was honestly the ugliest woman I had ever seen. She looked like a drowned clown all caked in make up like that, and her hair was grease-y with all that hairspray she put in it. And she always smelled strongly of really cheap perfume.

"Thanks." And then Angie did the unexpected. She smiled to Sylvia, who smiled back, and then gave her a wink. And Angie winked right back.

I'll never know why, but though I'd warned Angela to stay away from that creep, something about Sylvia just intrigued Angie and drew her back to her. I think it was some sort of admiration, like the kind bugs must have for porch lights. I knew it was only time before Sylvia burnt Angela, and though Angie always listened when I complained about her, I could tell she didn't always agree.

Luckily, Sylvia broke up with Tim pretty quickly, and since she was never around I sort of forgot about her. Well at least until I was almost seventeen, and her grinning, mean old self decided to really come and jack up my life.

**Bad chapter ending I know, but I wasn't sure how else to write it. I really did love writing this chapter, the train scene especially. I wrote this again in my OC Brenda's view, but I will probably do a few chapters in other people's views too. And I apologize to Sylvia fans but I wrote her from what little we got of her in the book, and I don't exactly imagine her as the sweetest young lady around town. Also, this is Brenda's view.**

** So yeah no A/N because I still haven't gotten any reviews(no pressure) though I would love it if someone reviewed this. I hope everyone who read this liked it, and any form of criticism or commentary will be appreciated. Also I'd love to hear everyone's ideas.**


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